I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize