i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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