I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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