All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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