hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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