Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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