I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
