Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
