hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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