Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.