So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.