home. puking in laundry basket.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
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Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?