My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'