The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize