I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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