hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
