fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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