I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
