tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
