She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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