and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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