U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
