I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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