The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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