I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
