you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
