I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
