Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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