Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
