I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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