He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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