i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Let's get the cat blown out
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
