Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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