She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
