I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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