we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
