dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
