cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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