If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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