I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think i got beer on your cat.
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