Don't EVER smell your tampon
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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