Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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