And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
