So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize