Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
