Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Soap is not a condiment
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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