i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
