just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
