i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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