So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize