She's JV to your varsity
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
