i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
