Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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