they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
