I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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