at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
