I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
