I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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