I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
