Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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