I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
