We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
