The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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