I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
