i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
