Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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